To be Catholic

I just loved this post on The Other Lion and I had to take a chance to reply.
My husband, having not been brought up in the church (any religion), really made me upset the first time we went to church together on a regular Sunday. I think that the first time we went to church together was for my Mom's funeral, but since then I have been going every Sunday. Anyhow, so what happened is this: I am Catholic. Fundi hadn't been to church for anything other than weddings or funerals, and was pretty clueless about the Catholic "Rules" of church-going. More specifically, he was clueless about how close you could sit to the alter without standing out like a sore thumb. Now, my family had always gone to church. I had three sisters and the six of us would sit about four or five pews from the back of the church, always on the right side as you walk in. When my (soon to be) husband marched me up to the front of church and sat in the third pew from the front, I was REALLY irritated. I gave him the silent treatment through church and then afterward he asked what the problem was. I said that I felt like I was a freak-on-parade being march up to the front of church for an average Sunday service. I explained that only people who were holier than holy sit that close and that I didn't want to stand out. He explained his reasoning: if other people were in front of him, he couldn't see and therefore couldn't concentrate on what was going on and what was being said. I, personally do not have this problem and couldn't agree with his reasoning. Get some Ritalin, already! I do know that there are some people who do have this problem, but I would not think that my husband would be one of those people. He is the one who has too much concentrating power, if you ask me. He can stare at a book, the TV, a video game, whatever, and a bomb could go off but he would not typically recognize that anything other than what he is involved in is happening around him. The next week he did the same thing. And so it went.
Fast forward about two years. Captain was colicky and needed to know what was going on (and still does). For once, I was happy to be going to the front. Captain could see what was going on and I could at least get a little bit out of the service.
Fast forward another two years. Captain and Burbles have a great relationship with our priest. Every (Saturday or) Sunday we sit four pews from the front of the church on the right side as you are going in. Captain even knows exactly where to go. The same entourage of people sit near us every Sunday. This includes my father, his Girlfriend, and Fundi's Mom. They are our helpers. Then there is the police officer, the beautiful family, and a few others who round out the happy crowd who are happy to help out in a time of crisis. This sitting up front business is kinda fun now. The kids enjoy being near the same people week after week. Mostly, though, are the people who watch the kids from afar. They talk to me after mass (or in the gas station) about how well behaved (HAHAHAHAHA) our children are and how nice it is to watch them every week. They are NOT good for Fundi and I, but they are good for those other people to whom they make their rounds on Sunday. Sometimes they even go to communion with other people. These other people enjoy having the kids around. Even the Father R talks to the kids specifically when he is giving his sermon. I feel for the most part that it is welcome for us to sit up front. Oh, I know, there are those people who feel that we should be back in the "Cry Room", but for the most part I think most of the other church-goers have been there and done that, and they are happy to see a young family so active in the church. There are only about three other couples who attend our church regularly who are under thirty. I thank them for that. I thank them for being understanding and I thank them for helping us out during church, because, as most parents know: children behave better for other people than they do for their parents.
We'll see you Sunday, same time, same place.

Identity Theft and God

Last night's sermon at church related to me in so many ways. The Gospel was about God telling the others on the mountain that in fact they should listen to Jesus because he was here to bring the Good News to all. God exposed the identity of Jesus. During Lent we are called to expose our true identity. Our priest talked for a while about Identity Theft and how people are very concerned with getting their identities stolen. The question was: What can we really define as our identities? Is an identity something that can be stolen? How do we identify ourselves? Do we identify ourselves by our past? Our present? Our mistakes? Our achievements? Our possessions? Of course all of this is what is combined to create our identity. But, how are we doing on our Spiritual Identity? Are we giving enough? Do we pray enough? Do we help others enough? Are we willing enough to serve? Do we take what we learn in church on a weekly basis and make it into something that could be considered follow-through? We are really not able to judge ourselves or others on all of these questions, I think. It is up to God. I think that we can try our best to follow the Word. When we make a mistake, learn from it. But, in the end, I think God is the one who will decide if our Identity is what it should be.

Which brings me to why I can really relate to the sermon: I was in a funk yesterday. Not to say that I have to be in a funk to relate to a sermon. Also, my kids were being held by someone other than me (a good thing considering my mood and their behavior yesterday) and I was able to really dissolve in the sermon and think about everything that was being said and how I could use it in my life. My funk, as far as I can tell, was brought on by the book: Dispatches From A Not So Perfect Life or How I Learned to Love the House, the Man, the Child. A book that seemingly truly examines the roles of Homemaker, Wife, and Mother. Here is my review thus far (only 20-some pages in):

Started this book. It makes me terribly lonely. It hits right on how I feel sometimes. It makes me want to run away. And I'm not even through the first story. I don't know how this is going to go. Will I continue longing for something which I cannot have or will I embrace what I have and be happy with the situation I am in? I guess that is my choice and is probably what the whole book is about. However, lately I find myself daydreaming about my college days. I believe I am remembering them through rose-colored glasses, but I feel like I didn't do enough during them. I feel like a part of me was left behind and a part of me needs to revisit and have closure with them. What if my whole life turns out this way? What if I always look back and think that I would like to live through this time or that time all over again even though I should be perfectly satisfied where I am at this point in time? Good grief.

After re-reading this review, I feel like I am an ungrateful, undeserving, immature little brat. Sure, just like Father said last night, everyone makes mistakes or wonders "What if...?". I just really need to make myself move past this. I love being a Homemaker (even if I am not the best cook in the world), I love being a Mom (even if I lose my temper sometimes or have a bad day), I love being a Wife (even if I can't figure out why Fundi can't see the messes around the house). There is always something in our house to eat--we should be grateful. We are parents and even though our children are not always the quiet, well behaved little beings we want them to be, we are so terribly proud and happy to have them as ours--we should be grateful. My husband always comes home from his long day of work and helps out and he is wonderful to me (not by buying me flowers and candy, but by loving me even in my funk--even after I can't remember my last shower) and I love him dearly-- I should be grateful. And I am, don't get me wrong. I am grateful for everything that God has blessed us with. But, the book questions Identity (although, thus far, not Spiritual Identity) and made me feel insecure with my happiness in the mundane things in my life. I will continue reading it. I am not saying that it is a bad book. It is very well written and I love a book that makes me think or challenges my thinking. This maybe just hit a little too close to home. And yesterday, in my funk, it made me long for things that I wouldn't trade for what I have now... not in this life. I would just like to say I love my house, my man, and my kids. I also love my God.

Golden Compass

Please be aware that this movie is not what it seems. Golden Compass is not a Narnia type movie. Fundi and I both watched the previews and thought that we would like to see this movie. We added it to our NetFlix list. Then, as I have been reading more and more with Usborne, and at church on Sunday, I realized that this is for real. This is a movie about kids who are trying to kill God. Now, I am not going to make up your mind for you, but anyone who plans to watch this movie should be aware of the strong atheist tones and the fact that the author who wrote the books this movie is based on was upset about how "watered-down" the film is compared to the books. I find this all so highly disturbing for any number of reasons. This is the time of year when Christianity is celebrated highly. This is also the time of year when (more than usual) parents drop their kids off at movies and do the Christmas shopping while the kids catch a show. Also, the advertising for this film is terribly misleading. We watched a polar bear running around with a woman who looked like a queen riding it. I feel that the advertising is misleading because a person sees one thing and gets another. They see a sci-fi, kid-friendly, animated movie that is set in a snowy climate (not unlike our own at this time of year) and think that it will me something like Narnia--only to get to the show and find that the movie is not anything of the sort. (Disclaimer: I will not be seeing this movie, so these are all observations based on advertising and here-say.) Now, there is something to be said about controversy and movies. People like to hear about controversy and the publicity that comes out of it is really just free advertising for the movie. I am hoping that we can send these people a message. It is not acceptable, this time of year or any other, for our children to be mislead into thinking that a movie is about one thing and it turns out to be about something entirely different. It is also not popular to go to movies such as this. More disturbing than any of this is the lack of knowledge by parents of what their kids are actually watching and reading. Let's stick it to them and let them know that we DO care about what our kids watch and read and that this particular material is NOT acceptable. Thank you.

Church

Last night's church service was to honor the Assumption of The Virgin Mary into Heaven both body and soul. We of course took both the kids and Captain was wiggly and Burbles slept. We did get to listen to what the Priest had to say during the sermon. He talked about how when a little child gets injured, he or she will go to the parents or someone loving to get comfort. As the child grows up, he will start dealing with his hurts on his own or with people other than his parents (significant other) and begin to deal with his parents in a more adult like fashion. We have to make sure that we are adults in our relationships with God. We shouldn't go to God only when we have problems. We need to make sure that we have a relationship with God during the good times and bad. We know we can lean on God during the bad times, but we need to make sure to thank God for the good times and keep our relationship with God as strong during the good times as it is during the bad times. I know that this can be difficult, but at the same time we need to make sure to thank God for all he does for us or gives to us.

Church--Brown-noser

Yesterday at church, the sermon was about being a brown-noser to God. The Priest talked about how it is so important to not just act well for God when you think he is watching and to recognize that God is watching all the time and that it is so important to always do your best. The Priest also compared our relationships with God to our relationship with our significant other. We expect our partners to be loyal to us and to make sure that their actions and their words match the fact that they are loyal to us, but sometimes with God we are not as loyal as we should be. Do we put more importance on money or things than God? Do we put alcohol or drugs before our relationship with God? At some point in time, we all stray from our relationship with God, but yesterday I was reminded that I need to keep my faith a priority along with my family. I also need to be sure to make sure that my actions and what I say follow through with my relationship with God. This will also help my family to stay strong.

Church Today

Today at church, the Priest talked about materialism and how caught up in buying things people are. I find this myself and he said that he did this as well. We drive past a boat and think... gee, I wish I could have that. Or we look at large houses with elaborate decor and think... gosh, I would love it if my house were that big and I could have that decoration. We all get caught up in this at one time or another, but it is important to remember what we NEED vs. what we WANT and then remember that other people out there may need help getting what they NEED and it is our job to help them.
On Wednesday, the 35W Bridge collapsed in the Twin Cities. What a terrible tragedy. We all hate to see such suffering and death. It hurts us even more when something like this happens so close to home. We must remember to be close to God at all times because the reality is that we never know from one moment to the next what is going to happen. God will not care how many things we have or how many things we have to do. He will care about what we have done for others and what we have done to ready ourselves for what may come at any time.
I don't mean to harp. I know that I need to work on this myself. I want to get this or that for the kids or I think I need a new digital camera because mine isn't as nice as my mother-in-law's, but really, as long as I can take photos with the camera I have, there is no need for me to buy a new one. I need to remember to say my prayers. I say prayers with the kids every day, but a lot of times, I don't say my own. And mostly, I need to remember to thank God for what he has provided for me and my family and those I love. And I need to remember to tell those I love that I love them.