Crying it Out

So.... I have a confession.
My baby is crying right now... as we speak. Yesterday she got her first tooth. Now I am terrified of bottle rot on her tooth, so no more bottle feeding to sleep and no more propping the bottle at night. I feel like a horrible mom. Que horrible! I know people will tell me that it is fine. I know it is. It's just that she is my little girl. Captain was Ferberized when he was much younger and he came out OK. As a matter of fact, he sleeps wonderfully. He goes for naps and to sleep at night without any assistance. He lays in his crib and quietly plays until he falls asleep and he sleeps through the night for the most part (an occasional waking for a dream or right now, the cough). But he was a boy. Maybe I am sexist and really unsensitive, but it wasn't as hard to listen to him cry for extended periods of time as it is to listen to her. Or, maybe, I just am worried that she will wake Captain up and then I will have two crying babies.
Now she is sleeping. That wasn't soooo bad. 10 minutes. I went in at 5 minutes and rubbed her tummy for a while to let her know that Mommy loves her and that I am still here. Doctor said that Ferberizing shouldn't happen until 6 months. She is only a few days away, but like I said: TOOTH! So, she screamed. Maybe she will sleep better tonight because of it. Maybe we won't have to get up the usual 4 times throughout the night because she wants her bottle.
Which brings me to an apology.
I am sorry for the first 361 days that Captain was alive how I looked at other moms who propped bottles (or did any other thing that the articles in magazines say you shouldn't do--unless related to health or safety issues). I guess I really didn't judge, but I said that I wouldn't be doing that. At day 363, when I was released from the hospital (and they forgot to attach my third arm), all of my "I would never do that" days were gone. I did what I had to to make both of my babies happy, and if propping the bottle made Burbles happy while I tended to Captain's needs, well then that is what I did. Yes, there have been repurcussions. Yes, Burbles only falls asleep with a bottle in her mouth. Yes, I miss holding her to feed her and to rock her to sleep. But, I still have my sanity. I feel that Captain doesn't resent me or his sister because of her needs. It is what it is, I guess. Then I hope that there is nothing wrong with her because of that. She really likes to be alone if she is grouchy and tired. She likes to sit on her perch, as my sister B would call it (her baby vibrating chair or that Papasan is what we call it), and drink until she falls into a slumber. Then, if the bottle is removed and she wakes up, she screams for the bottle back. BAD HABITS, I say!
Wish us luck in the quest for sleep tonight.
Fundi goes back to work tomorrow for 5 days of 12 hour shifts and then it is off to Iowa for Cornell Homecoming! I hope to see some people there and am looking to set up dinner with everyone on Saturday night (let me know what is going on).
GO PACKERS!!! 17-7 right now against the Bears. My Boyfriend (Brett) is doing soooo well!
Goodnight.