Jake

Yesterday was the two year anniversary of my husband's brother Jake's passing. He died of Cancer, melanoma, to be more specific. Jake was a special person to me and my husband. Jake and J (my sister-in-law) have lived only a couple miles away from Fundi and I since we met. Not only were they close physically, we were always doing things together with them. One of the last great memories that I have of Jake is when Fundi and I told everyone that we were pregnant with Captain. It was my nephew's birthday party. We were all sitting around outside in Jake and J's front yard. We had eaten and Z was opening gifts from everyone. Fundi and I always give the kids money, so Z opened the card and took out the money and wasn't really paying attention to what the card said. We insisted that he read the card. At the bottom, we signed from Fundi, Andrea, and your new cousin. Everyone was ecstatic. I'll never forget the look of surprise and excitement and happiness that Jake displayed on his face. When he would get excited, he would raise his eyebrows, his eyes would light up, and the joy would just come right off his face. Anyone would be able to see when Jake was excited. He was that way that day. There was a little sadness in the air as well. Jake was sick and we all knew it. I think there was the unknown question as to whether or not Jake would see another birthday for Z. Shortly after that late August birthday, Jake got very sick. We all know that he was in a lot of pain. It would be so contrary to say that I'm glad that his pain was relieved (as with my mother). And I'm not one to say that it was just meant to be. It sucks. Death sucks. Jake was the other person in my life who played a role in Fundi and I getting together. He and my mom worked together. They set us up. I'll have to check back at the June 19th blog to see if I told the story on the day my Mom passed away. If not, I will tell it in a future post. When we lost Jake, it seemed as though Fundi and I were that much more fused together. We had both lost someone who was important to us--twice. We had been through that loss--twice. It was really hard. I can't imagine losing a spouse or a child. I can't imagine losing a sibling. I know the pain of losing a parent. The world lost a special person that day. Someone who had an excitement that was contageous. Someone who was a great guy. As much as I seem to be separated from grieving for Jake, it is hard. No, I wasn't his wife or his mother or his child or his brother, but I was his friend and his sister-in-law.