Tips on Discipline

Quirky Rules that work
Parenting Magazine--July 2007
by Barbara Rowley
1. You can't be in the room when I'm working unless you work too.
Goal: Get your child to help, or stop bugging you, while you do chores.
I think this rule could work for Fundi as well. As in: hey, if you can sit there and watch me work, then you ought to get off your rear and get to doing something as well. This only works if he is not watching the kids while I work, in which case, it would work best if they would find somewhere else to be then too. Idea being that kids ALWAYS want to be with their parents (until they get a little bit older) but they don't want to do chores. This rule would suggest that not doing chores and hanging out with the working parent are not two options that can co-exist. (In an ideal world.)
2. I don't work past 8 p.m.
Goal: Regular bedtimes and time off for you.
I could see this working. I would like to think that it would be as easy as that, but as the article says, since it is a rule for me, I would have to follow it, and I would have to be the one who suffered if I didn't follow the rule. The article suggests that this may help to get your husband to help you with bedtime rituals because he will not want to do them alone if they drag on past 8. Wow! You mean that at a certain time of day I could just pretend like there is nothing else to do and that I can do as I wish until my 10:00 bedtime! Except for Burbles still doesn't go to sleep until 9 or 9:30, so what am I supposed to do with her? I guess this will work better when the kids are a little older, for now, I can just pretend I'm off duty except in regards to Burbles.
3. You get what you get, and you don't throw a fit.
Goal: No more haggling--over which pretzel has more salt or who gets their milk in the prized red cup and who in the cursed green, or which cast member of Blue's Clues adorns whose paper plate.
Once again, a rule made for older kids, but I could definitely see this working. I know many kids fight over such stuff and unless you have the exact same for everyone, it is impossible to please.
4. Take that show on the road.
Goal: Peace and quiet.
This would work best in a house or apartment where the kids have their own space or the mommy has her own space or both. The idea is to give your kids enough attention so that you know what they are up to and they get to show you their newest way to make noise, but after you have given them adequate attention and they begin to annoy you with whatever noise they are making, ask them to get a move on.
5. We don't argue about money.
Goal: Short circuit begging and pleading for stuff.
I guess this would be for times when "No" just doesn't work. Begging gets annoying. If your kid gets an allowance though, and has his or her own money, then the article suggests that this rule needs to go both ways. They can't nag you for something, but you can't nag them about what they spend their money on either.
6. I can't understand you when you speak like that.
Goal: Stopping whining, screaming, general rudeness.
This works beautifully with baby talk as well. I have used it many times (not with my kids, but with my niece). You would be amazed at how quickly, a kid learns to speak nicely when they know that it will produce results. That, and the rule has lasting effects. My niece rarely baby-talks or whines to me. She talks like a big girl and she gets what she wants and I understand more easily and then everyone is happy.
7. There's no such thing as boredom.
Goal: Prevent your child from saying "I'm bored"; teach her to entertain herself.
I am a firm believer in this rule. "Bored" is like a swear word in our house. If a person is bored, then I am sure I can find something for them to do (like vacuum, dust, dishes, etc.). The article says "There's no such thing as boredom, only failure of the imagination" or "...only mental laziness." And that "if your child learns how to entertain herself, there truly is no such thing as boredom. And that's a gift that will last all her life." I can always find something that I want to do or that I should do. I credit my parents for making us spend time playing with each other and playing outside away from the TV and Video games. (We did have both, but they had limited use.)

Anyhow, not to rant, but I thought that these were great ideas and I wanted to pass them on.