Tips on Discipline

Quirky Rules that work
Parenting Magazine--July 2007
by Barbara Rowley
1. You can't be in the room when I'm working unless you work too.
Goal: Get your child to help, or stop bugging you, while you do chores.
I think this rule could work for Fundi as well. As in: hey, if you can sit there and watch me work, then you ought to get off your rear and get to doing something as well. This only works if he is not watching the kids while I work, in which case, it would work best if they would find somewhere else to be then too. Idea being that kids ALWAYS want to be with their parents (until they get a little bit older) but they don't want to do chores. This rule would suggest that not doing chores and hanging out with the working parent are not two options that can co-exist. (In an ideal world.)
2. I don't work past 8 p.m.
Goal: Regular bedtimes and time off for you.
I could see this working. I would like to think that it would be as easy as that, but as the article says, since it is a rule for me, I would have to follow it, and I would have to be the one who suffered if I didn't follow the rule. The article suggests that this may help to get your husband to help you with bedtime rituals because he will not want to do them alone if they drag on past 8. Wow! You mean that at a certain time of day I could just pretend like there is nothing else to do and that I can do as I wish until my 10:00 bedtime! Except for Burbles still doesn't go to sleep until 9 or 9:30, so what am I supposed to do with her? I guess this will work better when the kids are a little older, for now, I can just pretend I'm off duty except in regards to Burbles.
3. You get what you get, and you don't throw a fit.
Goal: No more haggling--over which pretzel has more salt or who gets their milk in the prized red cup and who in the cursed green, or which cast member of Blue's Clues adorns whose paper plate.
Once again, a rule made for older kids, but I could definitely see this working. I know many kids fight over such stuff and unless you have the exact same for everyone, it is impossible to please.
4. Take that show on the road.
Goal: Peace and quiet.
This would work best in a house or apartment where the kids have their own space or the mommy has her own space or both. The idea is to give your kids enough attention so that you know what they are up to and they get to show you their newest way to make noise, but after you have given them adequate attention and they begin to annoy you with whatever noise they are making, ask them to get a move on.
5. We don't argue about money.
Goal: Short circuit begging and pleading for stuff.
I guess this would be for times when "No" just doesn't work. Begging gets annoying. If your kid gets an allowance though, and has his or her own money, then the article suggests that this rule needs to go both ways. They can't nag you for something, but you can't nag them about what they spend their money on either.
6. I can't understand you when you speak like that.
Goal: Stopping whining, screaming, general rudeness.
This works beautifully with baby talk as well. I have used it many times (not with my kids, but with my niece). You would be amazed at how quickly, a kid learns to speak nicely when they know that it will produce results. That, and the rule has lasting effects. My niece rarely baby-talks or whines to me. She talks like a big girl and she gets what she wants and I understand more easily and then everyone is happy.
7. There's no such thing as boredom.
Goal: Prevent your child from saying "I'm bored"; teach her to entertain herself.
I am a firm believer in this rule. "Bored" is like a swear word in our house. If a person is bored, then I am sure I can find something for them to do (like vacuum, dust, dishes, etc.). The article says "There's no such thing as boredom, only failure of the imagination" or "...only mental laziness." And that "if your child learns how to entertain herself, there truly is no such thing as boredom. And that's a gift that will last all her life." I can always find something that I want to do or that I should do. I credit my parents for making us spend time playing with each other and playing outside away from the TV and Video games. (We did have both, but they had limited use.)

Anyhow, not to rant, but I thought that these were great ideas and I wanted to pass them on.

Amazing

The other day, just for kicks and giggles, I kept track of how many words Captain is saying... the doctor said that he needed to have at least 5 by 15 months and be walking. He has 60 words that he is able to use in context. He is also working on short sentences. He will say: "It's a puppy. It's a ball." I am absolutely amazed! The other cool thing is that he is like a parrot. He will repeat almost anything that you ask him to say (limited to one or two words). What a fun age.

My Blog Rating

Mingle²

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

poop (1x)

Puppy

The other day when I was shopping at Wal-Mart, I was looking for one of those harnesses for kids so that they don't run away from you and that as a parent you can still feel that you are the one in control (even though we all know that that really isn't the case). Anyhow, so I got home and decided to put the device on Captain to see if he would mind it and so that he could get used to having the thing around his upper body. Turns out, the kids LOVES the stupid thing. It is disguised as a puppy backpack. He runs around with it on his back and thinks that he is pretty special that he has a puppy on his back. Oh, and another plus, it doesn't look as bad as those leashes that we used to have when we were young. Check it out:

Captain wearing the puppy backpack

Pizza Party at Our House

Yesterday we made pizzas at home. They were Yummy! Even Captain enjoyed them. Check these photos out.

The Pizza

Captain after the Pizza

And here we go...

I guess I really don't know that much. I have started trip preparations. Today we went to a neighboring county and had photo IDs made for the kids... just in case. The people there were great and were super nice with the kids who were both tired and a little cranky. Captain just woke up from his first nap of the day (yeah, it started at 4:00) and I just laid him down for his second nap of the day (yeah, at 5:15) and I still plan to put him to bed at about 8:30 if he is in a decent mood.
That is the other thing that we have started preparations for--the time change. I read somewhere that if you start getting your body used to the time difference before leaving it won't be such a bummer when you get there. I don't want any melt-downs at 10:00 Pacific Time (12:00 midnight our time) while watching fireworks at Sea World. So, the plan is: 8:30 for a few days, 9:00 for a few days, 9:30 for a few days, and 10:00 for a few days. That will hopefully make the time change less painful for all of us.
Ok, so he isn't really napping, more just pouting about being in his crib right now, but he needs to sleep. Burbles is trying to work on a nap as well. She was really cranky today too, which is really not in her character.
We went to the dentist today. Captain has 13 teeth and is working on 3 more. Fundi had a good check-up and my check-up sucked. I have 3 cavities. I blame it on pregnancy and my college dentist that gave me a mouthguard for nighttime wear, but really it was a sport mouthguard. My dentist said that type of mouthguard is not meant to be worn at night as it cuts off the saliva from your teeth and makes them more prone to cavities. Ta Da! They aren't bad ones, but still... Dentists suck.
I went to my sister's house today as well. She is due at the beginning of August with her first baby. She had a baby shower last night and was showing me some of her new things. It is so neat seeing all the new stuff they come out with (even if my oldest is only 14 1/2 months). Anyhow, she was really cute because she said "I just can't wait to be done with all this clutter" in reference to the few things that were sitting around (baby bathtub, a few toys, diapers, diaper bags, her hosptial bag, etc). I just told her to get used to it. You really have to. When you have a baby, clutter becomes relative. For example, when clutter is useful, is it really clutter? Does an extra diaper bag hanging on my banister constitue clutter? No--it is filled with diapers and diaper cream so that I don't have to go to the baby room every time I need to change a diaper. As Fundi said after Captain was born when someone asked him if we had been ready and had the baby room ready. He replied that "Every room is the baby room". Our house will never be the same, I'm sure, but it is nice this way. Those are the kinds of things that make a house a home. I think I do a pretty good job keeping my house clean. No, I don't bother to wash the windows that Captain can reach... they'll just get finger printed anyway. Yeah, I pick up the toys most nights after Captain goes to bed, but do I always put all the rings on the ring-thingy? No. I'm too tired and it is not a priority. It just isn't. But, are my kids fed, played with, and most importantly loved? Definately! That is what is important. Not clutter. She'll see. I have told her that a few times in regards to different things that we have talked about. She gave me a hard time once--publicly--in a Taco John's-- about not shaving my legs. I told her that it just isn't a priority.
I also need to ask for a moment of silence today. A bird (a pretty orange and black one) committed suicide in front of our eyes this morning. First it flew into the window... I don't need to say any more. I was sad and rushed Captain away from the window to protect him from what would have been his first encounter with death. How can you protect your kids from that forever? I wish I could.
Better get going... everyone is awake now.

Tips for Flying with Babies?

Does anyone have any tips for flying with babies? I am trying to figure out what Captain is going to keep busy with for 4 hours. Burbles will love just being held and cuddled. I'm a little worried about her ears though.

Nothing Interesting

I guess I need to do something with myself... I don't have anything going on right now. I have been with the kids for the past few days and aside from taking my Grandma to dialysis and then doing some shopping (grocery and a Wal-Mart run) and then going to church (all on Saturday) I haven't left the house since! I know, it is only Monday, but really, when was the last time you didn't leave your house for two days?
I guess I could talk a little bit about my Wal-Mart trip. The kids were very patient as we walked around the store and chatted with everyone we knew. I used to work at Wal-Mart. As a matter of fact, I was part of the crew that set-up and opened the store in Winona, MN. I loved that part of my job. It was stressful, yes, but it was amazing to start with a HUGE open building and fill it up with all sorts of stuff. I was a manager in the Domestics Department and I rocked at my job. I had never done retail before and it was a good experience for me, but I guess that 9 months of Wal-Mart was enough for me. I guess that about 5 months was enough for me, but I tried to tough it out, but it just didn't get any better. Now, I know that some Wal-Mart stores are awesome with their staff. Everyone really likes their jobs and things go well, but our store was not one of those stores. So many people were unhappy. The upper management was pretty fresh to their jobs and most of them wanted to be friends instead of supervisors. I liked them all on a personal level, but most of them were not great supervisors. Like I said, I was good at what I did, but I was not as good at helping the other departments as they would have liked me to be. I felt that I had enough to do in my own department and that I only had one part time employee and that they used her enough in other departments. I got really frustrated with that and finally I just said that I had had enough. Only two supervisors are left in their departments that they started in. There are still a few people that I know at the store, so I visit with them when I go in to shop.
One woman, who worked in the pharmacy, actually became a good friend of mine. This winter when we were both pregnant and miserable, we had a good time chatting about it on the phone. She was on bed rest for about 12 weeks because of pre-term labor. She had a little boy in addition to her 4 year old boy. That was 11 weeks and 1 day before Burbles was born. I haven't talked to her lately. As a matter of fact, when I called her phones, they were disconnected. Last I talked with her, she was having some major mental health concerns and at the very least was having post-partum depression. More than that, she was incohesive when I talked to her. She would talk in circles and didn't make any sense. To me, there was more than just depression. She admitted that she had had mental health concerns in the past and that she had suffered post-partum depression with her first child. She said she was seeing a counselor, so I figured that she was getting the help she needed. Obviously not. I stopped in the pharmacy to see if anyone knew what was going on with her. They said that she had gotten into some trouble and that her husband had taken their kids and moved back to California to be with his family. They said that she had been running around, but that even her dad didn't know where she was and what she was doing. She had tried to get help a couple of times at different hospitals (I knew this from past conversations with her) but that she wasn't ready to accept the help that she needed. I don't know if there was a drug problem as well. She did work in the pharmacy and she had a history of substance abuse.... I don't know... I want to talk with her though, I want her to have her family back. That probably is compounding her issues.... ("oh, well, if I don't have the kids to take care of then why not get drunk, why not use drugs, why not die???"---I can just imagine what she is thinking.) I wish her the best. I hope that she can get her act together and get the help that she needs. She is too sweet a girl to let her whole life go to shambles. It is so sad.

Need I Say More?

A man came home from work and found his five children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.
The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dogs. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.
As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?"
"Yes," was his incredulous reply.
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."
Priceless.

Happy 4th of July

Special thanks to my dad again... he watched Captain overnight (Tuesday night) for bonding reasons. Fundi and I were able to watch two complete movies that night and the next morning we were able to prepare for the block party that we were planning to celebrate the 4th of July. My dad and Captain laid down for a nap in the morning and didn't wake up until after noon. We were supposed to leave to go to the parade in a nearby town at noon, but we left at about 12:45 instead.

As it turned out, some things are just meant to be. We were looking for a spot in the shade to sit and watch the parade when I waved at a woman that I recognized from church. She invited us to sit with her and her two girls. (Her husband and her other two girls were in the parade.) We had a nice little chat and I found out that she scrapbooks too... (I would like to say that I scrapbook, but really I just gather stuff to scrapbook with... Reminder: Need to get working on that...) and that she has parties. What a great way to meet more people and develop other relationships. The parade itself was lots of fun. In such small communities you are bound to know some of the people, but I was able to say hi to so many of the people that I haven't seen in a while. I think I knew one person in at least half of the floats. Captain REALLY enjoyed himself as well. He got two Popsicles for lunch (remember... my dad and him woke up late from the nap... no time for lunch) and some Cheerios. But more than that, he watched as the band came up the street and the fire trucks and the other floats, but mostly I think he liked the Popsicles.

After the parade, we walked over to the park and visited with a few more people. One woman that was there has a little girl that was born about two months before Burbles. So we talked kids a little bit. Then we ran into three of my great aunts and they got to hold the babies and we talked kids as well.

Then we went and picked up my grandma and went home to get ready for the block party. We had a great time and great food. Everyone really enjoyed themselves and had fun visiting and watching the kids run around.

After that we went to another neighbor's house and set off fireworks while my dad stayed home with the kids (what a great guy... huh?). The fireworks were fun and we got to visit with some more people that we never get to see.

All in all, our 4th of July was a celebration of life and love and community... all the things that living in this great nation should be about.

Captain on the 4th of July

Burbles on the 4th of July

Captain with a Popsicle

Captain and Burbles with their Great-Great-Aunties

Captain and Gumpa walking around in the park

Captain and Burbles with Great-Grandma

The neighbors at the Block party

More neighbors at the Block party

Fundi's mom stirring the potatoes

My dad's Girlfriend holding Burbles

Great-Grandma stealing a strawberry

Our Family

A rainbow from that night. The photo was taken on our deck.

The Haircut

Captain got his first haircut and ate his first lollypop yesterday. He was totally in love with the lollypop... it IS in the shape of a ball. Here are some photos...

The Before Shot

The During Shot

The After Shot

Hamming it up for the camera with Daddy

Look at that tongue

Captain Destructo Strikes Again

Captain Destructo is thought to be the culprit that chewed his mother's Big Red Gum. The gum was thought to be packed away safely; however, after remembering forgetting to unpack the gum from the toy box after their trip to the Dells, Captain's mother is at fault for the current offense.

In a statement from his mother: "Captain found the gum among his toys the day after we returned home. I was busy making lunch and heard "Num, Num, Num" and I was like... hmm, I didn't think that I had anything out that he could eat (rocks, fuzz, and grass are among his favorites) and I looked and there he was, eating the foil and the bits of gum that he was able to get..."

This attack is one of many lately. There is no telling what The Captain may do next.

Why we call him Captain

So, this is why we call him Captain. This is our dining room/toy room after an attact by Captain Destructo. Look closely and you can see kitchen rugs on the floor and in the white tub in the bottom corner, the blanket on the floor, the chairs pushed out... This really doesn't do his mess justice...

Captain and Burbles

Look at these two... aren't they just the cutest? I may be biased, but of course I can't help the fact that I think they are beautiful.

Photos and Comments

So, anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE taking photos... that being said, I hadn't figured out how to add them to my Blog until tonight when I had a little time to figure it out. I have added some photos to the previous blogs, so please go back and check them out.
Also, I didn't realize that I had the Blog set to only accept comments from members. I have changed that and would love comments from people. I don't really know who all reads this except for Erika, Jennie, "Me" (whoever you are, if you could email me that would be great.. just let me know who you are) and Gummie, so let me know :)
Hope to hear from you all soon and I'll be adding more photos (hopefully tomorrow)!